Woodham Mortimer Cricket Club FRIENDS OF WOODHAM squad

Players
Chris Collis
                        
David Glasson
Semi-retired indoor player who can't quite bring himself to give up completely!!
Pete Harness

With perhaps the biggest arm in the club it only makes sense that Pete Harness wishes to be a keeper. Despite him being too tall and gangly for the role. “Why not be a fast bowler? Your height and frame would generate loads of pace if you worked on it? You have such a huge arm – surely its wasted behind those stumps?” These questions are ones that remain with the mysteries of the universe, and much like these abnormal wonders it is wonder who ever put it in Harness’s head that taking up the gloves would be a grand adventure.

Ever the Bert to Toby’s Ernie, Pete followed his close friend from Boreham at the start of the 2016 campaign. His large athletic structure and dashing good looks were enough for Captain Brown to place our young Pete as a solid member of the WMCC 2nd XI – where he would trundled out to bat and put fear into the hearts of all division 8 bowling that come up against the wrath of his overpriced and underused Krakatoa Newberry. Rumour has it that Pete loves his bat so much that he purposely misses straight balls to ensure not a scratch comes upon it, and so for now, much like Krakatoa did many moons ago before its explosion – it lies dormant.

But it would be unfair to suggest that our young Peter, often known as Pete the Feet, or PH Levels, or P-Rex (there are a multitude of names I will leave out otherwise the list will be as long as his feet) that he has not contributed sufficiently in his first season at the club. Prone to the odd catch, and dynamite 6-hitting, Pete is an exciting young talent that will continue to develop as the seasons go on. His technique is as promising and solid as his chiselled jaw-line, and his bat – although yet unused in a big innings, looks as good as he does – as Mr Tash recently pointed out his aesthetically pleasing nature and confusion as to whether he was a man or a lady.

We’re not quite sure what Mr Tash meant either. Alas, welcome Peter and your extraordinary large feet.    

Nathan Hayman
Introducing Mr Woodham Mortimer Cricket Club. Groundsman extraordinaire, loveable barman and father to one the best players to grace the WMCC shirt (plus con and cam). As a child Nathan accidentally super-glued a glass to his hand and now needs a constant pint within his grasp for correct balance - any excuse as to why he couldn't catch that dolly at mid-on. It's also rumoured that, so in love with his roller, nath went and sold his own van just so he could driver the roller to and from work, giving the dengie people quite the fright when this new technology literally rolled into the town, causing them to hiss and spit and swear at him with their 6 fingers. 
This gent doesn't just like cricket, he loves it, so much so that it was rumoured for a while that the missus had in fact kicked him out after suspecting that he was off galavanting with the local crumpets. In fact, this turned out to be nonsense, caught red handed one night instead out on the pitch going up down the wicket with his mower ensuring that WMCC had the best pitch in all of the T-Rippon. And nath has been known to use this pitch himself on various occasions. Unbelievably Nathan, born with the yipes, has taken a 5-wicket haul at woodies. Does it matter that LBW's were given when the ball hit me on the chest? Nah of course not, cos our Nathan, excited like a cam on Christmas went up faster than you could say wild wader, and with a quick cry of "owzat" (not sure if he was appealing or if he had torn his pesky shoulder again) the young chap umpiring fingered me in not so a pleasant way, and off I trudged giving Nathan his 5th wicket of the day. But as you can tell, I'm over it. But, with a head that reflects the sunshine brighter than my future, Nathan is the heart and soul of our club. Just don't cross him or drive on his outfield, or you might get a roundhouse across the chops that would knock you out colder than one of his refrigerated Ales. God Bless this true servant of WMCC.
Deb Verlander
Find me in the Kitchen doing "Tea" or in the Bar with the husband.
Hate the text message that reads "Game cancelled due to rain"

Gary Verlander
I am WMCC biggest supporter, gotta be with both kids playing there all weekend, in fact in the summer this is where I live at the weekends :)