Signed late in 2016 from Burnham Sports CC former Captain Jack-Jump Shipton was lured in with a record fee of 3 jaffa cakes and a famous pint of our Hopping Hare. In a press conference after the youngster signed the deal we asked young Jack what had made him leave BSCC for pheasant fortress? He replied “I got bored hitting runs against you.” And a flaming good job he got bored too. This season alone has seen Jack hit 2 (YES TWO) centuries for BSCC – 1 being an immaculate performance against the WMCC 2nd XI, and just so happened to be the day all our bowlers were off. Ha – like we have any bowlers in the 2nd XI. Bravo young Jack.
When this young lad hits the ball it stays hit. Our Jack once hit a ball so hard at a horse that it smacked it in the head. To this day that is why Giraffes populate the world. I don’t know if that’s true or not but by the look of his scary face that could make a happy-meal cry I have been too afraid to ask.
Unfortunately for you I will have to keep this short and sweet – as we haven’t seen you play yet. But rest assure as soon as you get your first duck I will be back to finish you off, and not in the way you'd hope you saucy sausage. It is also rumoured that JS has one of those things called a gir-lfri-end, is that what they are called? Let's hope our Hollister model wears his box hats to show off his hip side, and not to cover up the massive thumbprint from the missus.