Ah, Cameron. Where to start with this chap. The Sunday VC and 2nd XI batsman is very Kevin & Perry-ish, constantly moody and answering questions in short grunts. But despite this aggressive persona Cameron is quite the comical rascal who likes nothing better than extracting the urine out of anyone within earshot. Just don’t get too close to this youngster’s spraying speech – similar to his erratic bowling. They don’t call him ‘monsoon’ for nothing. This youngster is an avid fan of grime (is that a music genre these days?) so much so that you would think our Cameron is from the hood. What is grime anyway? Does the Dengie have a hood? Don’t ask because Cam will tell that man ‘shut up!’, as you look on unsure. On the contrary Cam could not be further from the grime scene, with skin whiter than emulsion.
But Cameron is quite the cricket prodigy. At 16, after a morning of cartoon network and coco pops, he made his way down to Westcliff and hit his debut 50 for the club in poor conditions. It was a very wet day indeed and although the team urged Cameron to close his mouth he couldn’t quite contain his excitement and let out a quick cheer, opening the heavens and soaking everything, before returning to the incredible sulk. Yet Cameron doesn’t just cause headaches through his whimsical banter. He is also a headache for all captains as to where best to field. Where is the least place on the pitch that the ball could go? Often a captain has wondered about the only chap in the club that can manage to do a long barrier going forward instead of sideways. In a game against Benfleet in 2016 our Cameron, after the ball crashed towards him, managed to stop it with his foot – only for it to flick up, smack him on the chevy chase and roll away past him. You wouldn’t think it possible.
But despite his lispy demeanour, constant use of colourful language and questionable choice in trainers this kid is very much one for the future. Past that moody attitude our Cam has a heart of gold – so much so that he has extended an invitation to every member of the club to attend his upcoming birthday in December, where a magician will be presenting balloon animals and servings of Jelly & Ice cream will be provided. His mum has asked however that no sharp objects or stuff that could get stuck in a young child’s throat be sent as presents please. Thank you. &a